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Lyrics Ryan Oakes - Save Myself

I hang my head (head)
Locked inside of my bedroom, I'll be fine (fine)
Right now, I'm saving my breath (breath)
I'm sick of wasting my time (time)
This for all the times that I bled (bled)
And all the pain that I felt (felt)
I'll use the lies that I'm fed to fuckin' save myself
Scared to pick that lock that's hiding my subconscious

Way too young to be knowing all of these toxins
Twelve years old, I was sippin' on concoctions
Tryna tell the world that I think I'm all out of options
Screaming out for help with the whole world watching
It was entertaining, it fueled their gossip
I was just a little kid when I flipped that faucet, went unconscious
Like fuck it I'ma found out who God is
No one ever found out about that day
So they kept on giving me back pains

They didn't care if I was stuck in a bad place
It made my brain sicker than the Black Plague, now
I'm having panic attacks when I'm alone, and I don't sleep
Fingers down my throat between the meals I wouldn't eat
When I hit rock bottom, and I wanted to retreat
I just crawled back up to my damn feet
I hang my head (head)
Locked inside of my bedroom, I'll be fine (fine)
Right now, I'm saving my breath (breath)
I'm sick of wasting my time (time)
This for all the times that I bled (bled)
And all the pain that I felt (felt)

I'll use the lies that I'm fed to fuckin' save myself
Bottled up inside, I never learned a way to grieve
Can't blame myself, 'cause ever since I was a teen
Everyone I found too close to me would leave
I would hold on too long even when they'd cheat
Happened three times, but the fourth girl was a treat
She manipulated all my insecurities

I would pull her weight for weeks while we wouldn't speak
Held up her world while she would kick me in the knees
I been thinking hard about that day
When I told her it was our last day together
She decided to take all of that pain
And try to overdose, memory is a bad lane
That I'ma never drive down, she don't deserve it, that's OD
Permanent imprints from all of the anxieties
Still burn my soul so bad it's a third-degree
But I'm still not accepting defeat
I hang my head (head)

Locked inside of my bedroom, I'll be fine (fine)
Right now, I'm saving my breath (breath)
I'm sick of wasting my time (time)
This for all the times that I bled (bled)
And all the pain that I felt (felt)
I'll use the lies that I'm fed to fuckin' save myself
I won't (I guess I'll save myself)
I won't break, break (I guess I'll save myself)